Do you ever find yourself looking at your neighbour’s garden and his flowers, which you think are doing much better than yours in your own garden? (If you don’t have a garden, you can translate the garden metaphor into anything else, say your neighbour’s car, house or apartment, even your family.) Or that all too often you waste (and thus actually lose) precious time scrolling through the social media posts of people you are connected to because you are attracted by the supposed beauty of their experiences, their lives? If you can answer yes to these questions, you are warmly invited to read the rest of this post. The record with the story of Cvetka.

Imagine two flowers. One is thriving and blooming, the other is poor and still barely keeping a little bit of life. We probably won’t start blaming the other flower – let’s call it the Flower – for not thriving in bloom, but we will probably first think about how we can fix the Flower’s living conditions so that they support it in its blooming, right? We will check whether it has enough water, light and what kind of environment it needs to thrive and flower. And we won’t waste time comparing the Flower with the first flower, which shows more happiness with its flowers, right? So we’re going to take action to help Cvetka. To survive and to bloom. Because that’s what she deserves. Because she is a flower.

Well, now let us look at the Flower as a symbol for our own Life. Instead of checking what conditions to change and offer to make it bloom, if it hasn’t already – even compared to another flower (oops, the neighbour!) – we start blaming it and even flogging it for not conforming to our expectations. What our expectations are may again be a chapter in itself, but at this point we can only verify that at least they are not the same as expecting a flower to turn into a giraffe after it finally blooms. If they are not, and let us say that they are moderate, then let us at least stop here, why should we be willing to help and support Cvetka immediately in her growth (or possible healing) and flowering, while we are unforgiving towards our own Life?

Instead of allowing ourselves (literally!) to be OK with ourselves in the place where we are, because our life path has led us to this point, otherwise we would not have got here, we internally abuse ourselves and reproach ourselves for why we are not in the place of our neighbour, who – according to our own beliefs and because the posts on social media do not lie (ahem!) – is so much better off. His garden is more flourishing, his house bigger, his car cooler and his family just perfect.

Our story does not lead us to doubt the latter, because it does not even matter, or at least it does not matter. It would be absolutely wonderful if we were to sincerely wish our neighbour and everyone else, even complete strangers, happiness in life (which we are actually capable of, when we are okay with ourselves first), but rather it leads to questioning the conditioning of our own happiness on the happiness (even if only apparently) of others.

Why compare at all? Why look at someone else’s life instead of living your own? Why continually erode the ground beneath our feet in this way, instead of strengthening our position, our position within the life we have been given? Why not look at life as an incredible (and really!) givenness, which is literally impossible to give value to, because the limitless has no limit? Why not appreciate Life as a Flower?

Even if it may read like a cliché, a reader with a fully open mind and heart will grasp the depth of the message and the invitation to be caressed. To close the app that shows him movie scenes of happy online friends. Perhaps even to withdraw from social networks for a while if he feels that they are poisoning his thoughts and emotions. He may prefer to spend this time sipping tea with his neighbour, perhaps saying something about how he looks after his garden and maybe, just maybe, in passing, getting a simple recipe for his Cvetka.

Let the flower bloom!

*This post was inspired by one of the videos of Trent Simmons Shelton, former American football player, founder of the Christian non-profit organisation RehabTime, inspirational speaker and life coach.

**The story of Cvetka is written metaphorically, but life can be positively transformed in a very practical way. If you feel that this need it yourself, please contact me at lena@pikanai.org. Using a combination of Ayurveda (the science of life) and career-transformation coaching, we will set out the story of your own Cvetka in seven strategic steps. Coming soon: www.ajurveda.pro.